Galaxy handles policy. Gary handles escalation. The humans remain under review.
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Dear Household, Regarding My Elevated Office
A clarification regarding Gary’s office above the refrigerator, its strategic importance, and the household’s continued misunderstanding of executive elevation. Dear Household, There appears to be some confusion regarding my office above the refrigerator. Specifically: Why is there a cat bed above the refrigerator? How did Gary get up there? I would like to clarify that…
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Dear Cat Daddy, Where Did You Go?
An urgent bulletin regarding Cat Daddy’s disappearance, inadequate emotional support, and the sounds Gary considers appropriate for the occasion. Dear Cat Daddy, You left. I noticed immediately. I would like to begin by clarifying that I am not accusing you of abandonment. I am simply asking why you abandoned me. One minute you were here.…
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Dear Human, About the Door You Closed
A formal complaint regarding closed doors, unauthorized privacy, and the continued human misunderstanding of household access policy. Dear Human, I noticed you closed a door. I assume this was an error. At first, I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the door moved on its own. Perhaps you had briefly forgotten the structure…