A formal complaint regarding closed doors, unauthorized privacy, and the continued human misunderstanding of household access policy.
Dear Human,
I noticed you closed a door.
I assume this was an error.
At first, I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the door moved on its own. Perhaps you had briefly forgotten the structure of this household. Perhaps you believed, for reasons I cannot begin to understand, that some rooms are not subject to immediate feline inspection.
Unfortunately, after several moments of observation, I have concluded that the closure was intentional.
Regarding Your Recent Access Violation
We have discussed this before, although admittedly most of those discussions involved me sitting outside the door and explaining the problem at increasing volume.
A closed door creates several operational concerns.
First, I cannot see what you are doing.
Second, I cannot confirm whether what you are doing should involve me.
Third, there remains the possibility that something interesting is happening on the other side, which makes your decision to exclude me especially troubling.
Privacy was not included in the household agreement.
The Bathroom Exception
There is, of course, one room in which your behavior becomes especially confusing.
The bathroom.
You enter. You close the door. You sit down.
At this point, you are a captive audience with nowhere productive to go.
Naturally, I arrive.
Sometimes I sit directly outside the door. Sometimes I enter first and supervise from the rug. Occasionally, I position myself in a location that could reasonably be described as a fall hazard.
This is not negligence.
This is proximity.
You may call it inconvenient. I call it efficient use of available floor space.
If you did not want company, you should not have become stationary.
The Reopening Problem
There is another behavior I need you to stop.
Opening the door, allowing me to enter, and then attempting to close it again.
I did not request access because I had made a permanent commitment to the room. I requested access because the door was closed.
Once inside, I may inspect the area, reconsider my options, turn around immediately, or simply stand in the doorway while evaluating both sides.
This process cannot be rushed.
If I decide to leave thirty seconds later, that does not mean opening the door was unnecessary. It means the inspection is complete.
Access and occupancy are separate matters. Please update your procedures accordingly.
Formal Resolution
Going forward, I expect all interior doors to remain open unless there is a compelling operational reason otherwise.
If a closure is unavoidable, I require prompt access upon request, followed by sufficient time to determine whether I actually wanted to be there.
Continued violations may result in scratching, vocal escalation, strategic hallway placement, or prolonged staring.
I trust this matter can now be considered resolved.
Regards,
Galaxy
Head of Household
CatSassy
This correspondence has been issued without human approval.